Photo credit: Haley Giwoff
Why did you choose this title for your upcoming EP?
The real answer might be just that it sounded right. Beyond that, on a very practical level, I was having some intense nightmares around the time I was thinking of EP titles for viole(n)t dreams, so that was a real world influence as well. The songs deal with a lot of darker themes concerning my inner world and the world around me. I think our traumas, both individually and collectively, influence our thought patterns which in turn affect and ultimately manifest the world that we live in, unfortunately. These songs are about desperation, feeling helpless, feeling lost in the modern world, and they’re also about not wanting to give in to it all; everything that goes along with living in a waking, violent dream. Oh and I like the color violet. It’s inspiring.
Is ‘ok you got me’ the most important track to you or why did you choose it as a single?
‘Ok, you got me’ is definitely one of the most important tracks to me. It was the first song that I consciously ever wrote for my solo project, and I’m so glad it’s finally out for everyone to hear. I feel it has come to define my sound and my artistic ethos since. The song’s lyrics define both my experience as an artist and as a person; it’s largely about the weight of being true to yourself.
What drew you to exploring the conflicts between individuals and society?
I’ve always been kind of a strange, quiet person, and I’ve always been very aware of the fact that people don’t quite know what to do with me or what to make of me. So naturally, I’ve spent way too much time thinking about why I am the way that I am, wondering what it means to fit in. I’ve always related to the underdog, and I champion individual thought as well, so it was natural for me to explore the conflict inherent in the relationship between individuals and their society in my songs.
Have you had difficulties dealing with social pressure and judgment?
Yes, I have 100% dealt with social pressures and judgment, both the real and imagined. When I was a teen, people always judged the way I dressed and wore my hair. I guess I wore too much black. Being a musician was never well respected by my friends who chose more traditional paths. I’ve always found myself as an odd man out in both crowds of artists and non-artists. But I’m not the only one, I think; my music tends to find people who have felt similarly misfit in society.
How did you evolve as an artist since you started your career in music?
I’d like to think my songs now are created with a better sense of craft. I’m better at knowing what parts of an idea to pursue and expand upon and which parts to cut. I think I have a better connection to my inner feelings as well. The songs I wrote when I was younger were much more abstract, lyrically. Though I was capturing raw emotions, I think I’m better now at expressing my emotions in a way that is more relatable and more specific. I aim to write songs that are memorable and can stand up on their own merits, rather than writing songs while being completely absorbed with the desire to express myself artistically. There’s maybe more logic in my current process, as my frontal lobe is more developed, I suppose.
What inspires your sound? Any references?
I really strive to create eclectic sounding songs that borrow from different genres. Old favorites like The Beatles and Radiohead always inspire me in that way. In their later works, both groups are amazing at blending different guitars, synths, strange vocal harmonies, and any other sound necessary to fit the mood of a track. When producing the songs on viole(n)t dreams, we really wanted the guitars to sound unique on each song and, to a certain extent, more like distorted noise than an intelligible, traditional guitar part at times. In this way we were very inspired by Nine Inch Nails; The Downward Spiral is a favorite of mine. Artists like Alice Glass, Grimes, and Ashnikko inspire me to play around with the synth sounds and programming in the way that they do.
What inspires your looks and visuals?
My look has been slowly evolving as I find ways of expressing the themes in my music. Guiding stars continue to include Robert Smith, Gerard Way, David Lynch, Tim Burton, and anime. I’m also inspired by how my frequent collaborators and friends, makeup artist Sofia Scherer and cinematographer Haley Giwoff, interpret my music.
What can we expect from your live show?
You can expect to see me give a piece of my soul at my live shows. I’m always drenched with sweat afterward. It’s very easy for me to be absorbed by the emotions of the songs when I’m onstage, and I’m happy to give that fully back to the audience.
What is the ultimate message of your music?
I think the ultimate message of my music is to believe in yourself, even when no one else wants you to or cares if you do, and even when your demons are close to defeating you. Sometimes I wish I was one of those cool artists who don’t feel they have an ultimate message and just let their artistic muses guide them, but I’m a dreamer at heart, and I want to imbue something deep in my soul into each of my songs.
