Model, dancer, OnlyFans girl and occasional dominatrix gets down and dirty with MUNDANE! SEND US YOUR FETISHES AND WE WILL PUBLISH THEM! IT’S ANONYMOUS SO LET IT ALL OUT!
PHOTOGRAPHY KATSUKI TANAKA
No matter how special you think you are, there’s only so much you can do to distinguish yourself from the next person. Maybe it’s money that sets you aside. Maybe it’s a new tattoo. Maybe it’s the way you talk. Maybe you even surround yourself with certain types of people to prove that you’re not like other people. In any case, we’re all human beings at the end of the day, and what do human beings do more than any other animal in Mother Nature’s house of horrors? We fuck.
We fuck a lot. We fuck each other so much, it’s almost impossible to go more than a minute without thinking about someone we have fucked, someone want to fuck, or someone we wish we’d never fucked. Your secret is no secret. You like sex, and so does the rest of the civilized – and uncivilized – world.
It’s a carnal covenant amongst all of mankind that abides no caste, no class, no system, and no creed, turning us into one big, sick, fantastical fucking orgy that nobody can scurry away from.
Yet still, we don’t really talk about it. We see it as shrouded and improper; something to be discarded and stuffed away like some ugly heirloom of the human condition. All the same, it remains paramount to everything. Our lust is always with us in the back of our minds like some warmly welcomed little poltergeist who we’re happy to have haunt us in silence.
Like food, we use different ingredients and garnishes to spice up our sex lives according to our personal preferences, and some ingredients are much stronger than others.
I realize that I’m starting to sound like some sexual lobbyist on a quest to spurn a sort of erotic revolution, but the truth is that I’m not any more sexual than the next person. Maybe it’s because I’m admittedly not into anything terribly outlandish that the phenomenon of fetishes fascinates me enough to dedicate 1,864 words to the subject.
For this piece, I wanted to get some first hand experience from people willing to talk about their fetishes, so I reached out to a dear friend of mine who preferred to remain anonymous (you’ll understand why if you keep reading). We’ll call her Athena. Athena works full time as a model, dancer (burlesque and stripping), OnlyFans girl, and occasional dominatrix. Ergo, it probably goes without saying that she’s seen and done some pretty wild shit over the years.
It’s terribly cliché to begin with a dictionary definition of something, but all the same…
Fetish: A form of sexual desire in which gratification is strongly linked to a particular object or activity or a part of the body other than the sexual organs (per Lexico).
L: So first off, I have to ask – what are the more consistent fetishes you’ve found yourself catering to in the past?
A: Well… for whatever reason in my life, I’ve had a lot of people have weird pee fetishes.
L: Okay. Any thought as to why?
A: I really don’t know. One of my first ever nude modeling jobs was on this website where I was getting paid $300 to $500 dollars a video to go to this photographer’s house and like… pee myself a bathtub. I would drink like a gallon of water and he would film me peeing through my underwear.
L: Good god.
A: Yeah, it got pretty crazy. The weirdest thing that ever happened was when he put a dead octopus on me while I peed myself. That was super strange.
L: Jesus! How much did you get paid for that?
A: That was on the $500 side, which was a lot of money in 2008.
L: So pissing and octopuses. This is great. What else?
A: For some reason, tons of people have stepdaughter fetishes these days. There’s probably a lot of girls out there who have stepfather fetishes too.
A: I think it’s usually people who don’t actually have a stepfather, you know? Because it’s so separated from what they know that it can be a fantasy.
L: That’s actually very profound.
A: Then again, there’s probably a lot of weirdos out there who actually do.
L: Want to fuck their step daughters, you mean?
A: (laughs) Yes. But if it’s not in your life, it can be sexualized. And I get it because my dad was never in my life.
L: So you fantasize about your proverbial stepdad?
A: I do! But if it were actually in my life, I’d be like… “ew, fuck.”
L: So it’s like a fabled taboo thing. I mean, in a sense… because the stove isn’t actually on, you can touch it without getting burned. It’s a part of your life that you can script.
A: Yes, exactly.
L: And it’s strange. As human beings, if we have control over something or we can “script it,” we seem to want to sexualize it immediately.
A: Yeah, it seems to be that way, huh?
L: Do you ever find yourself judging people for some of the things they like?
A: No, I’ll have some laughs about it and shit, but I don’t judge people. Unless it’s some really fucked up shit like snuff or bestiality… and… okay, so I’m trying to think of the right way to say this…
L: Go ahead. This is anonymous.
A: Well, in a way, I don’t judge bestiality.
L: How do you mean?
A: There are a lot of sites that specialize in CGI porn now, so if somebody finds bestiality hot in that particular context, I don’t really judge them. It still sounds so fucked up to say. But if they’re actually into fucking animals in real life, I’d judge a motherfucker for that. Do you remember Rotten.com?
L: I don’t.
A: That was one of those sites that was around while I was growing up that had real snuff and bestiality videos.
L: Oh, I remember other ones like that. I mean, I remember that they existed. I didn’t frequent them by any means (laughs). So you’ve seen snuff films?
A: Yes! It was so gnarly. There were actual snuff films and like… true bestiality videos too. There were these older guys we used to hang out with who would be like, “Hey, watch this video!” because they thought our reactions were funny.
L: So you’ve actually watched people getting fucked while they died?
A: I mean, yeah, I saw what I thought was real. I remember one where this woman actually got choked to death, which was the worst one. And the bestiality ones, there was NO way those were fake. I watched a girl get fucked by a horse, and it seriously fucked her up.
L: Well, yeah. I’d imagine getting fucked by a horse wouldn’t end well for anyone.
A: Certainly not.
L: Now here’s the big question – what are some of your fetishes? There are a few you mentioned to me before…
A: Ha! Yes, I definitely love watching men dress up in my clothes.
L: Why is that?
A: It’s a power play, sort of domination thing. I love putting make-up on men. When I was 13, I had a boyfriend who would let me do that. It might have just been part of the goth thing, but I always got super turned on when I straddled him and did his eye-liner.
L: So it stems back to childhood?
A: Yeah, maybe so. I like getting dominated myself, but I ultimately need to be in some sort of dom position at the end of the day. Kind of like that story I told you where –
L: You made a guy lick his own cum off of your face?
A: (laughs) Yes. I did it one time recently, and I made my high school boyfriend do it too.
A: Because he’s a little bitch.
L: And it turns you on to make a man into a little bitch?
A: Well, he was intensely dominant in bed, and I think I just liked the idea of making this super manly man who’s so fucking “hardcore” act like a little bitch. It was really powerful and hot.
L: Jesus Christ. Did he hold that against you?
A: Absolutely not. I think a little part of him really liked it. But like I said, I enjoy the reverse role too. I love being picked up and thrown around, tied up… being fucked insanely hard while he’s covering my mouth.
L: What about with women?
A: It’s always really important to me to make a woman feel comfortable, especially if it’s her first time. Some of them are down for whatever, some of them are a little more reserved. One of the first girls I got with here, my god…
A: She absolutely decked me in the face during sex.
L: Wait… she actually punched you?
A: Yes! I think she was just trying to take charge and went a little too far. We started off having like… sweet, sensual, soft sex, and then she just threw that in there out of nowhere. Knuckles and all. I really think she hit me as hard as she fucking could.
L: And did you make her stop?
A: No… we kept going. (laughs)
L: So there it is again. Maybe there was a small part of you that really loved it and wanted more.
A: Oh, I absolutely loved it!
L: You did? Admittedly?
L: And is there anything you absolutely won’t do?
A: Oh, yeah. More than a few things. One girl wanted to go down on me while I had a yeast infection. Definitely wasn’t about that. I’d also never pee on a guy. It would just make me feel gross.
L: And you don’t like feeling gross.
A: I really don’t. More than anything, I need to build trust with someone before I explore that part of them or reveal that part of myself to them. I was slut shamed a lot when I was younger. People talked a lot to other people about the shit I was into, what turned me on, what I had done… so I think I’m more reserved as a result of that.
L: Of course. To me, it seems like everyone has this perverse part of their own shadow that reflects their sexual desires. It’s this big secret that everyone carries around that sometimes isn’t always a secret, depending on who you are.
A: Yeah, definitely. But I will say that I understand why people want to keep their secrets. Keeping things a secret is what makes them taboo, which is really what makes it hot. Also, as things get more and more extreme in the porn world, and as fetishes become more intense, I think that keeping certain things taboo is what will prevent us from normalizing everything so much that we eventually cross some really fucked up line. If nothing is taboo, does that mean that everything is okay? Probably not. I think people should explore their sexual natures fearlessly, but I also believe they should do it safely.