Photo Credit: Jess Gleeson
Sydney-based alt-pop artist merci, mercy today shares her vivid new single, “Black Cloud.”
Written with her close collaborator Chris Collins (Azure Ryder, Middle Kids, Gang of Youths), “Black Cloud” is another taste of the honest lyricism and infectious melodies that have won the young singer-songwriter hearts across the globe. In typical merci, mercy fashion, “Black Cloud” turns a lyrically dark song exploring her mental health issues into an irresistible pop anthem.
“’Black Cloud’ is about my mental health taking a toll on my relationship. I’m unable to experience the simple joys of life with my partner because I’m consumed by a black cloud. I am the type of person that needs to know it will work out or else I won’t bother to try.
Tell us about your story as an artist
I always wanted to do music and it took me till I was 16 to actually start writing songs and sharing them with people. I showed my mum then my music teacher and I think at that point they were relieved that I found what I loved to do. A lot of my teachers through the years thought I was hopeless apart from Miss Blazey (my music teacher). She is one of the main reasons I am where I am today. Everytime i feel like I’m a terrible songwriter, I think about all the times Miss Blazey fought for me to be recognised in the school for my talent. She never gave up on me even though I had given up on myself. My story is simple, I am where I am today because of all the people in my life that loved me even when I made it hard to.
What do you think is the most important aspect of your life right now?
I think the most important aspect of my life right now is my family. I’ve been having a really bad time with my mental health and seeing my sister and her kids is the only thing that makes me feel connected to this world sometimes.
What makes this song special in your opinion?
This song is special in my opinion because I was really suffering at the hands of my mental health at the time. On the way to get breakfast before going into the studio to work with Chris Collins i wrote ‘ wish i wasn’t wrapped up in a black cloud, so i could enjoy the smile on your face”. My partner was sitting next to me and straight away I told him the line, and I think it made him happy because he was relieved that my mental health wasn’t impacting my ability to write. It’s Truly a special song to me because i was basically saying a big fuck you to my mental health. This time i’m not allowing it to ruin the relationships in my life but allowing it to help me express what’s going on so the love of my life can understand that this time i’m in charge not the black cloud.
What inspired this track?
My relationship with my partner inspired this track. We were going through a rough patch at the time because I was mentally unwell. I became selfish because my world was falling apart and that made me self-destruct and try to ruin my relationships. My partner’s love for me even when I’m at my worst made me realize I could be honest with him and ask him for help and it wouldn’t be a burdin. All the bad things, I thought were made up in my head and it would have been a tragedy if I destroyed our relationship because of them, when I know that I love him. So in all the love my partner has for me through all the bad and good inspired this song but also his incredible smile and eyes.
What are some of the core messages here?
The core messages here are that just because you are mentally ill does not mean you don’t deserve a healthy, successful and loving relationship. I know it can be hard to think you don’t deserve to be loved when you are so low but you do and if someone ever makes you feel like you dont well they don’t deserve your love. It would be a tragedy if you didn’t allow yourself to be loved.
How do you think tik tok and social media are contributing to change an artist’s career?
Social media and tik tok make it hard to breathe sometimes. I know it can definitely help an artist be noticed world wide but it is mentallly draining. Having to be constantly on it for any human is draining and it’s especially worse when you suffer from mental health issues. It wouldn’t be so bad if there wasn’t so much hatred and sadness in the world. I feel very lucky because everyone on my team is so incredibly understanding when it comes to social media and my mental health.
WHat excites you about your life?
I found it really hard to allow things to excite me for a long time because I felt like I didn’t deserve that feeling. Lately i’ve been trying really hard to get that feeling back and it’s a work in progress but here are some things that do make me excited. Seeing my family makes me excited because I love them so much and I know I can be myself around them. My nephew and niece I would have to say make me the most excited because they somehow always know how to put a smile on my face. My boyfriend makes me excited because I never thought anyone who wasn’t related to me would truly enjoy my company but he does. Writing music also makes me so excited because it makes me feel smart.
What are some of your core values as a human being?
I believe in love, love creates kindness and if there was more kindness in the world it would be a way better place. I’m not perfect in any way but you don’t have to be perfect in order to be kind and show love. On some of my sadness days ive had a random person compliment my hair or compliment my outfit and that small act of kindness impacts my whole day. The other night i was out and i was feeling incredibly sad and this girl came up to me to tell me how much she loved my music and it pulled me out of the hole i was building for myself. With all the hatred and sadness in the world right now, a litlle kindness goes a long way. My dad is a very private person but I have to mention him here. He taught me patience, kindness and love. Even when my dad is not doing well he will show kindness to people even if they have never shown him kindness. I will not message my dad for a whole week and every day he will still send me a message telling me he loves me. I always believe in doing things for people and not expecting things in return.
