Photography By David Oramas
Some songs hit harder when you know the story behind them, and ‘Over You’ is one of them. A raw, unapologetic anthem of self-liberation, the track unpacks the chaos of a toxic relationship, a manipulative ex, and the long road to finally letting go.
Brooklyn-based artist Allan Ritual channels a past relationship filled with love bombing, push-pull mind games, and straight-up emotional manipulation. The ex in question would throw around I love you as a get-out-of-jail-free card, only to turn around and break him down with insults and gaslighting. The final straw? A nasty text calling him pathetic, followed by an audacious attempt to crash one of his shows to apologize. That apology ended with a frozen drink poured over his head—a cinematic moment worthy of a standing ovation.
“My new release ‘ Over You’ was written about a boy I was with in the past who was a straight up mess. When we would fight or he did something crazy, he would tell me that he loved me so that I’d forget about it. I soon came to realize that he would just use the word love as a way to manipulate me. He would say he was leaving me and then he wants to stay with me as a way of using push and pull tactics on me, love bombed me, and tried to trauma bond with me.
Allan Wears Leak NYC
The last straw was when he texted me calling me pathetic then tried to come to one of my shows to apologize. I walked up to him and poured a full frozen drink all over his head when I saw him. He waited outside for me but I didn’t cave, and he walked away angrily. I never saw him again. I still thought about him even in the aftermath and tried to romanticize the good times we had. But then I wondered were they even real? Finally getting over him and freeing myself from the thoughts of him, really showed how much I cared for my own well being over an abusive love.”
Even after he walked away, the emotional aftermath lingered. The artist found himself questioning whether any of it was ever real, fighting against the tendency to romanticize the past. But ultimately, he chose himself
To this day I don’t even think he even really liked me. The weirdest part was we had the same birthday. From what I hear, now he’s living in a crack den in Ohio. Shout out to him and that crack den and you know what, Ohio. The Ritual will always get you.
I’m so proud of this song, it’s the first song I released that is fully written and produced by me start to finish. There will be many more to come. And to all you sexy guys and girls out there, bark bark bark, I’m single.
‘Over You’ is such a powerful anthem of self-liberation. What was the moment you knew you had to write this song?
What’s weird is I really never plan out a day to write anything (which I should), unless I’m doing a collab session. I think I just ended up needing to get some stuff off my chest that day, so whipped up a beat and start going in. Naturally all my feelings started flooding out which birthed this single.
You describe your ex as someone who used manipulation tactics like love bombing and gaslighting. How did you start recognizing these patterns, and what helped you break free from them?
I think we always kind of know deep down when these things are happening to us. Even when you can’t quite recognize it, you feel it in your gut. I knew early on, I just didn’t listen to the signs cause I liked him so much and wanted it to work out. As long as you know that it isn’t making you feel good or overly anxious. That’s all you need to know.
The frozen drink moment is legendary. Looking back, how do you feel about that scene now? Would you say it was a turning point for you emotionally?
Haha yea well it’s interesting that we always seem to see alcohol and the demons that come with it in a negative light. This moment in particular, I had already been drinking. That coupled with my anger towards him wouldn’t allow me forget how me made me feel or the things he said to me. So I poured that f****** frozen all over him. I felt like a bad ass, it felt surreal, like a movie. That night I guess my demons were looking out for me and I didn’t even know it. Ive known so many people who have felt imprisoned in their unhealthy and toxic relationships- so after I poured that drink, it was a bit of a vow to myself that I’d never be controlled by anyone in that way ever again.
You mention struggling with romanticizing the good times after the breakup. What helped you finally break that cycle and see things for what they really were?
I think once the dust settles, you start to ponder on the good times and it starts to overshadow some of the bad. I don’t think we inherently want to see the bad in people, even if they’ve shown it to us over and over again. But as cliche as it is to say, time heals all. Realizing that it was never meant for you will allow you to be set free.
This song is your first fully self-written and self-produced release. What was that creative process like for you, and how did it feel to have complete control over your sound?
It’s always a little nerve racking releasing any piece of art, especially for me. But I think it’s a great lesson in expressing vulnerability in the things you create, and knowing that regardless of the criticism, you served your heart on platter for everyone to see. In the end though, it does feel amazing having the confidence to release something that’s 100 percent yours.
There’s a lot of dark humor in how you tell this story—like the crack den in Ohio comment. Do you find that humor helps you process painful experiences?
I know it was a shady humorous comment. But yes, I’ve always found that as scary or hurtful as life can get, as long as you keep laughing, everything will be just fine. Also, it shows that I’m not scared to tap into my dark side and be a little messy.
‘Over You’ resonates with a lot of people who’ve been in toxic relationships. What do you hope listeners take away from it?
I hope that listeners can connect with my experience and know that they are worth so much more than another person or relationship. Your life is never over without another person and you don’t need another person to be complete. You have everything you need inside of you.
You mention that this is just the beginning and that more music is coming. Can you give us a hint about what’s next?
Yes yes! A lot of new music is in the pipeline. I think everyone is going to be surprised with some of the choices I’ve made in the coming records. Definitely an EP later this year. And if I were to give a one word hint, it would be, RAP.
Your music has such a raw, unapologetic energy. Who are some of your biggest influences, and how do they shape your sound?
Thank you! Yeah for this record in general, I was definitely inspired by SOPHIE, 2000’s boy bands like NSYNC, and all the pop-punk and emo bands from my MySpace days. Their influences allowed me to blend hyperpop, jersey club and hip hop beats over a nostalgic pop boy band and pop-punk emo vocal. However, I have to add that I’m a huge Nicki Minaj fan. She has really inspired me over the years to be unapologetic in everything I do. So shout out to the Queen and the BARBZ!
And lastly, for those paying attention—bark bark bark, you’re single. What kind of person does it take to win over Allan Ritual?
Oh god, I don’t know! Well I must say, humor is a huge way to win me over- as well as honesty, a good heart, and someone who’s not afraid to dream big. I do believe in love, and I just know that there’s someone who’s perfect for me somewhere out there. I just haven’t found them yet.
