The single speaks to the cloudiness of the mind when mired in a spell of depression. “It’s about making your way through the fog during those moments when you are not yourself or able to be the version of yourself that you imagined,” she says. Influenced by the likes of David Lynch’s Twin Peaks theme and David Bowie’s instrumentation in Laybyrinth, “Haze” is a seductitve sonic offering.
How did you come up with Haze? It seems such a powerful reaction to a depressive or down moment? Is that wrong?
Haha I feel you. When I wrote Haze, I was at the end of feeling mired in a spell of depression. I was already moving past the anger and going forward with new found strength and empowerment. My lyrics, “I will never know you well and I will never hurt,” express the letting go of a toxic situation, letting go of thoughts and broken records that were no longer serving me, and building new paths for my next chapter. Haze is about looking back at those tough moments and finding the beauty in them, learning the lesson, the takeaway, so you can continue forward stronger. Grief and heartache are okay, because you are overcoming the pain and doing the work to get through and make your way through the fog.
What usually inspires your music?
Ahhh! I am inspired by so much! I have such an array of eclectic musical influences, from her early childhood influences of Madonna, the 1984 film The Neverending Story, and David Bowie’s stylized synth soundtrack to 1986 film Labyrinth to the dance, alternative, and R&B music of my teen and college years. I grew up in the eighties and nineties, and those delicious sounds of freestyle, house, trip-hop, electronic, grunge, hip-hop, R&B, and so much more live in my mind. I remember reenacting Dave Gahan in “Enjoy the Silence” and wanting so badly to be Björk. My family was always listening to music, so it truly ranges from Cole Porter, to Buena Vista Social Club, to Whitney Houston, Mary Jane Girls, to New Order, Portishead, and NIN. I think in visuals, so many times I am creating a music score to a scene replaying in my mind. For example, with Haze, I closed my eyes and witnessed fog crawling across the dance floor and me standing in the middle, lit with colors of purple, red, grey, blue and an iridescent sheen. I then heard the bassline and went from there. It’s pretty magical.
How did your experience with BEATMO shape your performance skills and artistry?
I started in BEATMO as a youngin and my singing was mediocre. There are phone recordings of me scream-singing in a backyard and I try not to cringe as I listen. The band always made me feel safe to experiment with my performances and pull inspiration from my favorites like David Bowie, Dr. Frank N. Furter, and Karen O. I definitely grew in skillset with each performance and grew in my knowledge of music. I took the role of the agent/manager as well and handled all of our bookings, studio times, posters, artwork, etc. BEATMO is made up of friends and family, so we adore one another even 11 years later. After BEATMO, I wrote my LEX EP and the guidance and support I received from my Producer Peter Franco, who also works with Daft Punk, was priceless. We then formed my second band LJ Laboratory (formerly LEX) and that is where I truly refined my skills as a musician. Those bandmates are all powerful women and jazz music graduates and it showed. We trusted one another and they went along with every performance idea I had and contributed so much to our sounds and art. They allowed me the space to lean into my artistry by creating all our artwork and directing/producing our music videos, with the help of my creative partner Michelle Zamora of Viva La Puppet. Now, with this new chapter of my solo music, I am taking everything I have learned and going forward with a fierce drive. I can’t wait to see how much more I grow.
How would you describe your act and music?
My music is my soundtrack and interwebbings of my influences of 1980s synthesizers, fantasy, fashion, goth, and dream pop. I love to go on a journey with my music and art, and command the stage with my performance as a vocalist, musician and dancer. I feel alive on stage, like I am finally myself, in my fantasy dream world. I give 150% to my performance and my audience. They can be anywhere else in the world, yet they chose to be here, with me, and I am ever so grateful. Their love gives me the confidence to keep going.
What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned about the music industry so far?
Move forward with love. Everyone has their own experiences, ways of working, and we can’t control anyone but ourselves. I still collaborate and work with friends I met years ago and we are truly growing together in this industry and learning from every journey. Also, let go of perfection. I’m constantly working on letting go of my paralyzing unreality based limit of perfection and am diving fully into the sounds and art that fill my heart. I am a vessel and the art is a release.
