In the chorus of ‘Rollout’, the second single from Self Esteem’s 2019 album debut, Rebecca Taylor asks herself: “What I might have achieved/ if I wasn’t trying to please.” It’s a question many of us will be familiar with – dampening ourselves to get by at school or work, shrinking our femininity to be taken more seriously, staying quiet because it will cause fewer problems than speaking up.

Having achieved quite a lot in the past few years, Taylor is leaning further into the power of using her full voice. Introduced to the world as one half of indie-folk duo Slow Club, her talented lyricism and commitment to performance was always there, but shrouded in the very nature of compromise that comes with being part of a larger machine. When she went solo as Self Esteem in 2017, it was an opportunity for out-and-out autonomy, shedding past skins and striving towards glossy, behemoth pop.

Self Esteem will also be embarking on an 18 date UK headline tour later this year, taking in shows across the country including London’s Heaven and a hometown show at The Leadmill in Sheffield. A space for both catharsis and euphoric celebration, a Self Esteemlive show is not to be missed. Tickets are on sale now via https://www.selfesteem.love/.

Tell us about the genesis of Self Esteem. How did you get to where you are now from previous endeavors 

I’d been in a band for over a decade. Made 5 records, toured the world. Slogged and slogged in shitty circumstances always believing in the music and the art and living to perform but never making any real progress success wise. I had a lot of ideas and desires that I couldn’t put into practise whilst being in a band that represents the ideas and desires of two people. I just suffered for ages and stifled it, had no idea how to communicate it (libra with pisces moon, I am incapable of ‘upsetting’ anyone) and it just became so overwhelming I started an Instagram account where I could post things that only represented me. I started painting, writing poems, all these things that didn’t threaten my ‘day job’. But it created a monster because I saw how much joy and tension relief I got from that. It went on and on until I had to just take time out to do my own music. And here we are. The struggle incubated what was always there I think. 

What’s a musical guilty pleasure of yours?

I don’t believe in anything being guilty. Why would you ever put rules and regs on art? I get it, I was ‘cool girl’ 101 for many years but now I just so deeply dgaf I struggle to be guilty about anything in art. I love a lot of stuff, I hate a lot of stuff, but everything has a point and everything has a purpose. I love musical theatre soundtracks, I feel no shame!

Favorite activity to blow off some steam?

I love doing whatever I want whenever I want to. I love unfollowing accounts that make me feel jealous. I like to exercise so I can eat massive delicious things and let my body feel balance. I love to drink loads more beers than I said I would and have a conversation with you that we never thought would happen. I love sleeping for ages. I love giving you advice and feeling like I’ve just blown your mind. 

Tell us about your upcoming album Prioritise Pleasure and how it came about.

After my first record I felt very reborn and excited for what happens next. I finally knew what I wanted it to sound like, look like and more importantly I’d seen what it did to an audience and I wanted to give more and more. The pandemic hit and it was a horrific experience for everyone but I had it relatively easy compared to most. I had demoed Prioritise Pleasure and just had to sit and wait to make it. I tried to relax for the first time in my life.  I still made an album for myself but with the knowledge it will help someone else too. I thought about it a lot, I also tried to just ignore it. When it came to fully producing it up it was weirdly easy because of the enforced amount of time I’d had to think about it and also ignore it. A weird way to work but I’m proud of it. 

What are some things you do to deal with anxiety and creative blocks?

When I was in a band I so often had stress that I didn’t do as much or I wasn’t a real writer because I didn’t sit there all day with a guitar but I see now as well as then I am just someone who has to wait. When it’s meant to happen it does. If I force it I write the most horrific songs you’ve ever heard. When I write when I’m meant to it’s like flying. I try and make the environment be the best it can be to encourage it. Watch music documentaries, read, see art. Makes me think and be inspired by others and get that, ‘I wanna do that too’ feeling.

What inspires your visuals, videos, looks etc?

Mostly Madonna blonde ambition era haha. I feel like music doesn’t have to stop at the song. Everything is a billboard, everything is a canvas, everything is an opportunity to express yourself. 

Where do you think the music and entertainment industry is headed after this past year?

Glass half full me hopes it changes for the better. I hope people embrace art like never before. I hope the experience of live music becomes something everyone wants more and more of! There’s talk of streaming services having to be a bit more fair to artists when it comes to payment, that would be bloody delightful but also who knows. I’m resigned to the fact that this is what I do, it’s all I know, it’s what I am. Whether it makes me a penny is irrelevant, would be gorge though.