What’s your story as an artist?
Chaos. Pure chaos. It’s an innate, burning urgency in my heart to interpret my life through music. I was born to two theatre artist parents in Las Vegas spending the majority of my childhood hanging backstage in theatres in Vegas, on Broadway, or your local touring house. My love for performance was created and nurtured by these environments but as I got older participating in my own local theatre and dance performances, the need for escapism quickly turned into a need for artistic exorcism. Settling in Vancouver, Canada for school, I started writing songs as a teenager to keep my secrets in. A diary didn’t have enough privacy. Songs were layered. I could express myself more accurately through a cord, a melody, and a lyric than anything else I’d ever attempted. Through years of artist development in LA and a forceful move back to Canada in 2020, my music is the most vulnerable and authentic it has ever been. Releasing my debut single, “Chamomile Tea”, in July 2021 has brought a widely supportive response from listeners relating to my mental health struggles. This has really inspired me to continue to talk about my mental health candidly in hopes it makes one person feel less alone. I strive to continuously push the boundaries of my music and invite people into a fun musical chaos that acknowledges every one’s personal struggles and provides the cathartic release it does for me.
What inspired this last release?
My latest single, “I WISH U DIDN’T EXIST”, would be more suitably named “I wish I didn’t exist”. I wrote that phrase in a notebook last year, not knowing what I meant by it. As it rattled around my brain for weeks on end, I finally sat down with my guitar and plucked out the bones of the song. Deceivingly a song about a toxic romantic relationship, I would only realize later the toxic relationship I was fictionally narrating was not fictional at all. It was about my relationship with myself. The phrase “bad self-talk” feels oversimplified. A never-ending internal monologue performed by a personal dictator that looks a hell of a lot like the person I see in the mirror. I treat myself worse than I do any other person in my life. I speak about two versions of myself “I wish didn’t exist” in the song. The first is the dictator, I was just referring to. The second being my potential. The potential (completely unattainable) perfect, ideal version of myself. The impossible standard I hold myself to whether that be fueled by the beauty industry, commercial success, not being so obsessive or awkward, or social media comparison culture.
I collaborated with Alex Flagstad as producer to bring out the absolute chaos that I felt in my mind through the screaming electric guitar and wild, unexpected twists and turns. This song is a lively ride.
Do you get inspired by other art forms?
Absolutely! My influences are endless. I’m a tap dancer, I’ve acted in film, tv, and onstage. I’m deeply in love with films, plays, musicals, poems, novels. My love for art inspires me to keep going . Seeing how other artists of many facets innovate. Art and music are an infinite challenge. Though I do find myself inspired by other art, I find most of my ideas within day-to-day life. Concepts manifest through unpredictable locations. A dying plant on a window sill, the clanking of a laundry machine, and more often than not a dream.
Any funny anecdotes from the time you were recording or writing this?
I had never met Alex before jumping into a session for this track and by the end of it, he had accidentally renamed the song! Saving it into a file abbreviated to “IWUDE”, the song immediately changed in my head. I like “U” so much better than “You”.
What’s your favorite place or environment to write?
Easily under my covers late at night, whispering shitty voice notes into my phone. I find it the most undisturbed I can get. I filter through my thoughts the best that way. I love writing poetry on bar napkins which sometimes turn into lyrics but I haven’t been out to many bars lately due to safer at home orders.
What’s a record that shaped your creativity?
I’m going to have to shout out a few here because I truly have been shaped by so much music (my Spotify wrapped said I listened to 103 different musical genres this year lol). With my musical theatre background, anything by Stephen Sondheim is sacred to me. Every song I brutally pounded my drumsticks to on the Wii version of “The Beatles: Rock Band”. Particularly “Rubber Soul”. I bought a copy of “A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out” by Panic at a thrift store because I liked the cover art. It turned into the majorly formative album of my teens. “DAMN.” By Kendrick… enough said. All of these artists, I admire for their use of language, contorting words in their own uniquely brilliant way. I bring my best to every time I write lyrics, to strive for a creative way to express my feelings.
Who is an artist or band you look up to today?
Lizzo and Kendrick both have this undeniable abandon in their music where they really seem fearless to speak on anything that they want to. Leave it all out on the floor. I aspire to their level of courage.
What excites you the most about what you do ?
The inception. Whether that’s creating a music video or a lyric or finding a specific sound, the adrenaline I get when I finally settle on that perfect idea.
What is your view on genres and music styles since you mix a lot of them in your music?
Music is the most accessible it has ever been. The limitations on artists are less and less with access to studio grade resources from a laptop and every song ever created on YouTube. Inevitably, Genre is becoming more fluid. We aren’t limited to the records in our parent’s basement anymore. Genre no longer has to be the defining factor of an artist. It’s about who they are, and how they are growing. I’m seeing more artists completely reinvent their sound with every album and I love it. Having come from, and being exposed to such a diverse cultural background, I draw influence from any music that resonates with me. Strict labels and boxes don’t need to have a place in 2022. I’m black AND white, I like men AND women (and people in-between). My music couldn’t fit into one box if I tried because I don’t. It’s not who I am.
What does music and art mean to you?
I couldn’t think of a way to answer this question without sounding like a complete artsy-fartsy cliche. Music and art mean everything to me. I truly believe I would not survive without them. I have been in immense pain when I have not used my artistic expression to clarify life’s messiness. It’s the way I grow, cope, and breathe.
How would you describe your act in one word?
Reckless