The standout line of this song is that “nobody knows what it’s like to hold us closer”. The song is directed at a lover who feels like a soulmate and your perfect person, however you both feel so scarred by the world that you have strong defenses and barriers up that get in the way of falling in love.
The song is vulnerable from my perspective, because I’m admitting that nobody knows what it’s like to hold me closer, and I’ve finally found this person I’d let come close to me, however they refuse to let anyone close to them.
The title “mayhem world” is because of all the mayhem in the world that damaged us. The video takes place at a bar, in which I walk in, order a drink, and seem to be drowning in my sorrows, waiting for a call or a text from this person. I drink more and more and get more upset and sad, eventually standing up and leaving alone.
How did this title come about? Any real life events or anecdotes behind this track?
“Mayhem World” was written after a long conversation with a friend where I realized this guy I liked had no intention of calling me back. It sucked because I felt like we had something intense and magical and it’s hard to move on from that. But I tried, and I got this great song, so it’s okay now.
How do you feel now that it’s out? Do you feel this is some of your best work?
I think it helps tell the story of the album really well, so releasing it as a single was a no-brainer. This whole album is definitely my best work. I wouldn’t release something I wasn’t 110% proud of, and this track gets the same scrutiny from me. I think this one is really beautiful for the vulnerability it shows.
How would you describe your style in a few words?
“Experimental-pop” is the best way to describe it. I bring in a lot of storytelling that’s more commonly found in country music, and I like to play with some R&B beats sometimes.
What is the most fulfilling thing about what you do?
I’m living my dream! Little ten-year-old me is beaming right now because she did this. She decided that she would be a songwriter and dreamed of maybe singing her own music, and now here we are. She and I and every stage of me in between have all worked so hard to be here. There is nothing better than living the life you once dreamed of. And to know that people are listening and connecting to the music is the most amazing feeling in the world. It keeps me going every day, every song, and every album.
Tell us what was your first exposure to music and how it changed your life.
My first exposure to music was hymns in the really strict church I was raised in. I’d say it changed my life in the fact that it made me rebel and listen to the radio, and that’s how I fell in love with pop music. We weren’t allowed drums or any instruments besides the piano, and if the hymns were played too fast, the pianist (me) was scolded after the service. My mom raised us on classical music and for a time, we couldn’t listen to Bethoveen because she thought he was angry, and that the devil was in his music! (that’s another story for another time.) Thankfully our music teacher convinced her to let us play it. And then as we got older we listened to more country radio, and my sister and I got exposure to Teen Bop and Tiger Beat magazines, and that gave me Hillary Duff and everyone else that was on Pop radio. And at 10 years old, I decided I wanted to be a pop singer and hear my songs on the radio. And now, here we are!
